Mama's Day
by kuragari nikkou
Summary: Nonsensical story that celebrates Mother's Day. I'm not sure if you should take this seriously because the plot is weird and I lack setting... Rating is a T, just to be safe. Humor...well, if you laugh, then I guess it's a humor.


All characters © their respective owners

.-.-.

Hoshi: Haven't been able to write in a while what with my creator being all spazzy and hogging the computer, but didn't you miss me? No? Well, too bad 'cause I'm back for the time being, honey. Nonsensical Mother's Day story coming atcha.

-YOU'LLNEVERTAKEMEALIVE!

"Crazy…I don't understand…" Master Hand in all his floating, white-gloved glory asked his younger twin brother by…three minutes, I guess, as he kept an eye on all his smashers through the camera system rigged by Snake.

"Don't understand what?" Crazy, his younger twin brother asked in all his twitching, white-gloved glory. He looked into the cameras and saw many of the smashers leaving flowers on graves. "It must be Mother's day. Or maybe Father's day, but either way, they go home for five minutes to talk to graves and leave flowers. Say, did we ever have a mother?"

"I think we did… I can't remember." The other hand said. He sighed. The smashers they were spying on started to cry.

.-.-.

"Lyn!" a blond princess in a pink dress called. The green-haired woman stopped in her tracks and turned around to look at her. "There's something you need to know before you see your son today." She said before running over and tripping over the hem of her dress. She got up and ran over again.

"What'd he do this time, Princess Peach?" Lyn asked. "Set the kitchen on fire or blow up Captain Falcon's car?" Peach shook her head and smiled a little.

"Well, he blew up Marth's room, but that's beside the point. He's planning on giving you something today." Peach said. Lyn all but rolled her eyes.

"It _is_ Mother's day, you know. I think I know he's going to give me something."

"Yeah, but as a mother, you should understand that Roy's still in that stage in life where his self esteem will either rise or lower depending on your answer. Even if he gives you the bloody, decapitated head of an enemy or something as stupid as the blade of a fallen enemy, you should accept it." Lyn rolled her eyes, but it went unnoticed by Peach. "After all, it's better than breaking his heart, right?"

"Um…" Lyn was about to protest when Peach suddenly got kidnapped by a short mutant turtle. "Princess!" Lyn was about to run after her because it's a reflex, but Mario beat her to the punch and she stopped.

"Bowser-a Jr.! Peach is-a not your mama!" the short, Italian plumber shouted as he ran and bumped into a desk.

.-.-.

There goes Link and Pit walking off after paying their respects to their mothers' graves. Ness and Pokemon Trainer ran past them holding a cake all cheerily and such. Link and Pit watched them disappear into a room and were about to walk away.

"Happy Mother's Day, Lucas!" They heard the two children declare. Both smashers stared at each other for an awkward five minutes. Link started to walk back to the room, but decided against it and walked away with Pit. Unfortunately, he bumped into Pit and they fell down a flight of stairs. That's what happens when people go against their first instinct.

.-.-.

"Um… 'Mother's day'?" the blond PSI child doth asks.

"It's a pretty lame joke, but yes, 'mother' because that's your game!" Pokemon Trainer explained.

"It's stupid, but it was Roy's misunderstanding. What do you expect?" Ness added.

"Oh…well, it's not _that_ stupid if we get to have cake over it." Lucas said.

.-.-.

Lyn walked around lost in thought. She loved her son, and NOT like _that_, but she loved her son and of course she'd love whatever stupid idea he came up with for a gift, but… A decapitated head? Her son probably wouldn't do that, but if he did… What would she do? She clenched her fists and took a deep breath. All she knows is that she can't make a big deal out of it. It's from her little boy, and that's all that counts. Look, there he was now.

Wait, is she really ready for something like this like right now?! She gulped and walked over, tripped over a branch, and landed with a thud. Roy turned around, and unsheathed his sword, but then he saw who it was and put the sharp object away.

"Mom!" he walked over to help her up. "Are you okay?" she got up and looked down endearingly at her little son. "Oh, wait!" he walked over to the bench he was sitting on and picked up a small box. He walked back over smiling and handed her the box with a card on top of it. "Happy Mother's Day!"

Lyn took the present and stared at it cautiously. It didn't look like it could hold a severed limb…unless it was an eyeball or something. She took the card and pocketed it before unwrapping the foil. She opened the cardboard box to reveal a…necklace? She picked it up by the thin silver chain. The charm that hung from it was a little musical note… Because her friend was a dancer and she was a singer, she thought.

"I know you don't really like jewelry, but I knew I had to get it." Her son said. "Do you like it?" She smiled before giving him a hug.

"Of course I do."

"Incest!" a passing bystander yelled out. Lyn ran over and beat the crap out of her. Roy had to run over and stop his mom from killing her, but he was pretty lucky that his mom was too tired to unsheathe her sword. The bystander was pretty lucky too. Lyn gave her son another hug. Ike walked by, took out his cell phone, and took a picture before leaving.

.-.-.

"Mom…" Roy whined. It was supposed to be an open mike night, but Lyn turned it into an embarrassing-baby-pictures-slideshow night. "Ah…" he squirmed in his seat as a picture of him crying in his crib showed up and mixed reactions of laughing and "AWWW"-ing came from the audience.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but you have to learn to stop blowing up people's rooms." Lyn explained before showing a picture of him playing with some blocks. More "AWWW"s from the audience. Marth smirked in Roy's direction. The little red-haired kid was never going to live this down.

Ike hacked into a computer and put in a picture of his own. Snake, who was supervising the boy's progress, started to tear up.

"You've learned so much…" the agent said. Ike stared at him blankly.

"I didn't even want to learn how to hack into a computer in the first place…" he said.

"But look at how much you can do now! Pretty soon, you'll be able to steal data!"

"Really now?" Ike asked, faint interest in his voice.

The picture was the picture from Ike's cell phone with an incredibly badly-drawn picture underneath. There was some text at the top of the cell phone picture that read, "Happy Mother's Day". Lyn was embarrassed, mad, and surprised all at the same time. Who took the picture (it was a pretty good picture, though) and who took the card from her son? Obviously, it was the card from the present her son gave her because her son always drew her cards and she didn't know anyone else here with horrible art skills.

Everyone else just went "AWWW" except for Roy and Pit. Roy just looked down in embarrassment. Pit was about to get himself killed.

"She kind of looks like a pedo--." Pit was cut off by Lyn beating him half to death. Dr. Mario and Roy went off to stop her from committing murder (Dr. Mario because he's a doctor, and Roy because she's his mom and he doesn't want her to go to jail).

Ganondorf simply stared. He didn't think Pit would make a comment like that. He almost made a comment like that. He was glad that he didn't, but he decided to take pictures and laugh nonetheless.

"Bowser, tell your son that I am NOT his mama!" Peach said as she was still being kidnapped by Bowser Jr. Mario was still running after her, but he ran into a wall before he could stop. Bowser looked on, but decided to say nothing.

-BUTYOUCAN'TKILLMEANDTAKEMEEITHER!

Hoshi: Well, this was stupid and short and lacked a setting, but hey…maybe you liked it? –gets hit by tomatoes- Yum, tomatoes! Wait, are these fruit or vegetables? –gets hit by rocks- Yay pain! –people glare- Stop it, you're hurting my feelings!


End file.
